Marriage can be hard sometimes because it requires constant and consistent effort to make it work. Sex is one of the things that brings continuity in love and bond in a marriage. Though other factors also count, sex is the major key that sustains a marriage because of intimacy. This shows the 12 ways sexless marriage effect a husband and its causes cannot be overlooked.
Sexual intimacy used to be high during the early years of marriage but drastically reduce after some time. Many reasons can cause this and it has always been a very big issue for a lot of couples.
There are lots of questions that can come to mind. Have you heard about the sexless marriage effect on the husband? How will you feel if your husband can not have sex with you like before? What will be your reaction if you realize that your husband can not perform at all?
Can a marriage survive without sex?
This can be really tough because it takes a lot of grace and understanding to make it happen. Meanwhile, sexless marriage does not mean the end has come. The reality is, it’s not going to be easy and it has been a source of conflict for many couples.
This also depends on the individual couple. Because what causes the sexless could be temporal or if not necessary action should be taken into consideration. The causes can be sickness, infidelity, lack of trust among others.
Is it possible for a man to cope with a sexless marriage?
The question is a difficult one because men are generally wired to have sex. The majority of men can not do without sex in their marriages. But only a few can live in a sexless marriage to a certain length but it’s going to be hard. It will come to a stage when they can not tolerate it any longer. They may want a separation or will like to divorce because the effect can be very challenging.
How sexless marriage affects a man?
When a marriage or relationship lacks intimacy and sex. Such homes will be lacking happiness and understanding because its conflict and argument every time. You can easily see that there are no emotional connections between the couple. So it is important to be aware of the causes and what to do in a sexless marriage if there is going to be peace.
There are lots of psychological effects that sexless marriage can cause in a home.
These are major consequences of zero sexual intimacy in marriage for a man.
Low self esteem
Many men will not want to talk about it but deep inside them, they know that something is wrong. They don’t have confidence in themselves anymore. Their attitude always reveals that their self-esteem is being affected by what they’re passing through at home. Though other people may not notice that there is a deep wound in their hearts. But their attitude changes towards other people.
When there is zero sexual intimacy between the couple, anytime someone is talking about sex life around them, from social media or even if it is the wife, the man will feel ashamed. It’s like opening a wound that is not healed. Whenever the wife wanted to talk about the issue of sex, the man doesn’t want her to even go there. It’s making him feel ashamed of himself. It can also turn into a big fight.
There are always side effects to everything in life so also sex in a marriage or relationship. Sexless effects in a couple’s life are one of the causes of depression and libido. When a man did not have enough sex can make him feel depressed.
Sex helps to increase our happiness because of the hormone that is being released during the act. So also our happiness is being affected when sex is lacking or reduced in a relationship. It makes the couple get moody all the time and be irritated with every little thing. Most especially, men, it makes them be angry with their partner for no reason because the source of connection is missing.
It seems that there is nothing that can make a man happy like the feeling of having sex with his partner.
Feeling of Failure
When a man is in a sexless marriage, he will always feel he is not good enough. He’s thinking will be he has failed as a man. This is because when a man is having regular sex, it gives them a sense of fulfillment that yes I am a complete man. This is one of the ways that sexless marriage affects a man.
Do you know that when a man is having a good sex life? He helps him to be more productive even at work. Have you not seen some men who will come to work and have a bad day right from the morning? You can just conclude that he was having a sexless marriage that is affecting his mood everywhere he goes.
How sex affect a man?
The importance of sex in a relationship is very huge. If a man is lacking sex, he will feel less secure in that relationship. He will feel like nothing is working in that relationship since he can not enjoy himself just as he want. Sex is an important aspect of a relationship that couples need to understand. A man can feel he’s a failure when he cannot have sex with his partner. He may also conclude that his partner didn’t want him. This can make him end the relationship suddenly.
Anger and feel bitter
Anger and bitterness are other products of a sexless marriage. Because when a man is not having enough or zero sex, will think that nothing to be happy for in that relationship even though they are. Such a man will always use a question to answer a question. He will be full of anger and always pick fights with his partner. This shows how bad a sexless marriage affects a man.
The couple in a sexless marriage will be far from each other because what will bring them together is not there. Sex is one thing that solidifies the bond of a couple and increases their intimacy. It makes them love each other unconditionally and enhances better understanding. A man may sit down right beside you but his mind and heart are a thousand miles away.
Less or zero sex affects men more than you think. When a man is having a sexless marriage, he will be feeling that his partner is starving him for sex which may force him to be hungry for intimacy elsewhere.
Lead to poor mental health
Depression and anxiety are other effects of sexless marriage for a man. Sex is one of the best ways to reduce stress, especially in the world we are in now. Men can develop poor mental health since they can not release that hormone which can help them with stress management. Since stress has been linked to many health issues for example stroke. There is nothing that gives men joy than the feeling of a complete man that can satisfy his partner sexually.
Sees you like just co-tenant
The way a man treats his partner when in a sexless marriage will be different. He will see you as a tenant or visitor in your own house. This is just because there is no sexual connection between you. Such a couple will just be like a cat and rat that is living together.
Poor Physical health
A man can develop some heart, prostate, and bladder malfunction because of a sexless marriage. Research has confirmed that there is a direct connection between sex and physical health. There may be a drastic reduction in health conditions when there is less or zero sex in a marriage.
High degree of Misunderstanding
In a sexless marriage, there is always a high rate of misunderstanding, and of course, when sex is absent, mutual understanding is gone. Many couples don’t like to talk about it. If you find yourself in such a situation, When this is happening often, the causes of the problem have to be dealt with and look for a solution.
When a man is not satisfied sexually, he may be feeling lonely and sad. Some men may not want extramarital affairs because of many reasons. But the feeling of being isolated will always fill his heart. This shows that there are many people that are married but still feeling lonely.
Keeping to themselves
If a man is not happy sexually with his partner, he may be keeping to himself. It results in poor communication, not feeling free to share his emotional or other personal issues with you again. He may think it’s not of any use to share things since sexual intimacy is lacking in your marriage. It makes men feel neglected and insecure.
Causes of sexless in a marriage or relationship
This can also pose a big problem between couples. If one of the couples has a very high sex drive and the other partner can not meet the demand. It can cause a major setback in their sexual intimacy with each other.
In such a situation, there is a need for the couple to open up to each other. Good communication is highly needed, then a solution will definitely come. You should feel free to express your feeling to your partner. Maybe there is a need to change the style or exploit more methods that will bring satisfaction for both of you.
Try to figure out something so that both parties will be happy at the end of the day.
Affraid of conception
Many women have these challenges with their spouses. A woman that has already had 3 or 4 children and who is not willing to have more children again will be skeptical about sex. The woman will be automatically afraid anytime her spouse wants to make love with her. It’s natural as an adage says, experience is the best teacher. Sexual intimacy to such a woman will be something else.
In this case, family planning is recommended even though it’s not 100% secured. Other methods such as total withdrawer and menstrual cycle timing are other good suggestions. The couple needs to find out what type of family planning works for them. It’s just a matter of mutual understanding and communication.
Lack of knowledge
When you have the knowledge of what you are going through, then the solution is not far-fetched. Many couples are facing sex challenges because they are ignorant of it and don’t know how to handle them. Some are feeling shy to discuss such things or seeing it as taboo yet, is affecting their marriage or relationship. There are many solutions if only you desire to seek and talk about them. Seeking knowledge is profitable.
Previous sexual abuse
This is another major issue even long after they got married. Some women even made up their minds never to get married again and have sex. I can understand it is not easy to forget what has happened in the past. Many people are still holding on to it. That ugly memory always comes to them whenever their spouses make a move of romance.
Moreover, since you have married, you just have to let go and enjoy your marriage. Your spouse should not be the one to pay for the sin he has not committed. Don’t let your past destroy the beautiful home God has given you. Pray about it for God to give you the grace to overcome this challenge.
Pain during and after intercourse
When a woman or man is having pain during intercourse is a big challenge for him/her. They will always have excuses whenever their partner makes a move to have sex. If there is a particular time you experience this pain. Feel free to say it loud to your partner, because it can result to fear. If it’s too painful to handle, couples can consult their medical professional for help.
Sickness or family problem
Health and physical challenges can also be a major barriers to sexual intimacy in a marriage. When one of the couples or family members is sick. Sex will be the last thing to think about. Alcoholism and drug abuse are other causes of the problem with sexual intimacy in marriages. It is when everyone is healthy and physically alright, that a romance game and sexual urge is sure between the couple.
Medication side effects
However, side effects from some medications such as antidepressant drugs can affect sexual function. There are some medicine prescriptions and even non-prescription medicine that can have a negative impact on sexual functioning. Some of the medicines affect libido (desire). While others make you unable to achieve orgasm or even become aroused.
It has been reported that antihistamines and decongestants cause poor erection or ejaculation problems. There is a high risk of sexual side effects with lots of medications intake.
Discuss the problem with your doctor for a solution, don’t keep silent.
When a woman fails to respond to a sexual stimulus during intercourse called anorgasmia. It will reduce her interest in sexual intimacy with her spouse. Because she will feel that after all, she is not going to enjoy anything. Failure to achieve orgasm will definitely give her an excuse or even kill her sex mood. Frigidity is natural for some women.
Whereas some women have undergone several miscarriages. The fear of another miscarriage can lead to their frigidity. This is one of the challenges of sex in marriage.
You should have faith in God. To be fearful is the work of the devil. Believe that you will surely carry your pregnancy to the delivery time. Commit it to God’s hand from conception to delivery, and it will end in praise. You will surely carry your testimony.
Not in mood syndrome
This syndrome can come in diverse ways. Can also be I am tired syndrome. Couples should find a way to tackle this. What works for couple A might be different from couple B. Just try to figure out how to create a good mood for sexual intimacy. Most men should learn and understand how to water the ground and increase their spouse’s appetizer for this act. It’s one of the major challenges of sex in marriage.
With love, you need to work on each other. Don’t use she is not in mood syndrome as an excuse for extramarital affairs or abandon your partner. It will only add more to the problem. Since there is no perfect marriage, maybe your own syndrome is different. Just look for a love medicine that can cure your own specific syndrome.
Menopause can be a hindrance to sexual intimacy. There are major hormonal changes in women’s bodies. The production of estrogen and progesterone hormones by the ovaries decreases. This leads to less moisturized and vaginal dryness and reduces her stimulation to enjoy sexual intimacy. Levels of another hormone testosterone, it’s a male androgen hormone that is produced at lower levels in women also decreases.
Research shows that intermittent decreases in progesterone affect menstrual periods more than they affect sexual function. There are also age-related declines in testosterone that may affect the sex drive of a woman (Libido).
When there is communication flow between the couple. They will easily notice it and find out how to tackle the issue rather than fighting unnecessarily. Hormone therapy can be used as a supplement to avoid this dryness. Also, perfume-free vaseline can be used by men as a lubricant.
Lack of children
When a woman is looking for a child for so many years and has tried everything. She will be tired of having sexual intimacy. It can be a huge barrier and affects her mood. It’s natural like an adage that says, too much of a long delay of a thing will make heart loses hope. She will be thinking since I have been doing it for 10 or many years, nothing happens. It takes the grace of God.
I have good news for you. You can learn from the story of Hannah in the bible. Put your trust in God and have faith. Because with God all things are possible. A delay is not a denial. Your own Samuel is on the way and you will carry your own baby.
Infidelity, lack of trust
Lack of trust in a marriage can be a hindrance to sexual intimacy between couples. When one of the partners breaks the vows they make to each other. The other party will always get irritated when it comes to sex. The mood and excitement will no longer be there because the emotional connection is gone.
This can lead to many problems in such a marriage. I encourage you to learn from the challenges of sex in marriage and how to overcome them. You will overcome the challenges and take your marriage to the next level.
Solution to infidelity
Moreover, the only solution is that couples should be faithful to one each. Stay and be loyal to your partner. As the bible says in the book of proverbs chapter 5 verse 19 to all men, let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe, let her breast satisfy you at all times, and be thou ravished always with her love.
If there is anything like an inferiority complex. Take good care of her and bring her up to your standard. Groom her to a woman you want and be satisfied with what you have. When you are not faithful to your partner, it’s a sin against God.
Lack of proper communication
Poor communication in a marriage can be a challenge to sex. When there is a lack of communication, couples begin to suspect each other. Any small move, you have already jumped to a conclusion. The only solution is to be open and honest with your partner. Communication is one of the vital ingredients that sustain a marriage.
Make sure you always talk about every issue, don’t keep quiet.
When you harbor a lot of problems within yourself in your mind, it will get to a stage when you can no longer bear it. It’s like a bomb ready to explode, when you explode, it will definitely affect your sexual intimacy. It’s one of the challenges of sex in marriage and how to overcome it that requires improvement.
When one of the couples is having a psychological issue, it can create a gap between them. It can be stress from work or anxiety. Unable to meet the desired demand at work. Marital or relationship problems, feeling guilty, physical appearance (overweight). These have been one of the causes of sexless marriage and a solution is highly necessary.
Unpleasant noise from the bedroom
Couples should be aware of this especially when you have visitors around. You never know who is listening when you are being carried away by romantic talk or during a sexual act. You should also take your children into consideration. Be careful with an unnecessary ringtone from the bedroom that can attract other people’s attention.
Moreso, you can be so much embarrassed if someone just rushes in and sees you in the act unexpectedly. It can be a huge challenge for such a couple.
In such a situation, you can put on loud music to cover up. Even though you shout unconsciously while having sex, nobody will hear it.
It is very important to discuss your problem with the right people. It is not just anybody. As a Christian, it is good to go for counseling. Many Christian couples tend to open up to their pastors or other counselors. Other couples that you can trust and confide in, people that you see as role models can also be of help. But be careful of the kind of people you discuss your problem with, so you don’t get misled.
Discuss with Doctor
Moreover, when medication is the cause of the challenges. If you notice some changes in your body after taking some drugs. Don’t hesitate to discuss this with your doctor. Change in the medication may be of help.
Hormone supplements can be used by couples with hormone deficiencies.
There is also medication to treat menopause problems.
When couples are facing all these types of sex challenges in their homes. The best is to seek professional help. There is nothing new under the sun. There is always a solution to every problem. So desire to solve these problems together and enjoy your marriage as it ought to be.
Prayer is one of the weapons that Christian has. In any challenges, let us take it to God in prayer.
Always communicate with your spouse- Talk about sex, don’t feel shy, and keep suffering in silence. Because a problem shared is a problem solved.
Share your problem with the right people.
Seek professional help
Educate yourself about sex and seek knowledge